You tell me the reasons, though it's not that I don't believe them, it's just hard to see. Hard to know that someone could see so much in me. And I don't really know where to take this. Or where to go from here. How can love grow? Who can know? How do I show the things I don't know?
And also, I'm learning that this pursuit I've been on may not have been as much love as I've proclaimed at times. I want to love Him whole heartedly. With all that I am. I want to love Him with all my heart, soul, strength, mind, and my entire life. I want to love Him in what I do and what I don't do. Do I want to love for the right reasons or do I want to love because it's the "right" thing to do? Do I long to spend moment to moment with Him. Do I desire to climb into His Word and be with Him there? To just hear Him speak, to sit at His feet, or His side, and just be?
This relationship is teaching me. It's teaching me about the Relationship that matters. There is so much beyond feelings. Beyond words built to flatter.
Love. It's a delicate thing. It teaches us lessons. Or rather, He teaches us lessons through it. And at the same time He is It. Oh the mystery!
I'm not beyond repair. Welcome to my life. I'm here to share.