Thursday, June 26, 2014

The Bookstore

It's a bank of knowledge we're all just wandering around.  Some with nothing particular in mind.  Others are looking for something specific.  Something to gift to a neighbor, to a brother, a sister, a spouse, a friend.  However it is not of the them that I intend to speak.

I'm one of the wanderers.  I meander between the shelves, catching excerpts of revolutionary minds, hearing young, inquisitive minds wondering aloud to their parents.  Some of those with small feet and still developing minds are set free.  "Go explore for yourself while I get my work done," says the look of a mother to her daughter.  This place is perhaps the biggest jungle.  Setting one's mind free here offers a myriad of dangers, a seemingly limitless opportunity for growth.  We can read the words, or simply be observed by the illustrations, photographs, and depictions and something is entering into our minds.  It doesn't matter if we're acknowledging it or not, the knowledge, experience, and exposures are seeping into our systems.

You can take our threads and turn us into something.  There are threads of others that we tie to our own stories, some by choice and others slip stealthily into our subconscious.  Perhaps they're right to fear the unknown, after all they don't know it.  They don't know what they fear.  They only know what they've already experienced.

Tie me into something else.  Something that still is me.  Something that can connect me with those outside.  Tie me to the world outside.  Tie what is within to the the insides of those outside.  We're all connected.  This is a brief cross-section of humanity dissected.

Sunday, June 22, 2014

Who will zoom in?

My street doesn't even show up on a map.  Not unless you zoom in.  Perhaps that's the metaphor I'm looking for, though in all reality it's not a metaphor I'm looking for.  It's life.  It's living.  I'm seeking connection.  It seems selfish but I just want to be heard, to be listened to.  I'm so isolated in this living thing.  Who is going to take me as I am?  Who is going to take me from here?

Why can't I make it myself?  Myself I'm not nothing, nor am I no one.  I need to be in a place where I give it all up.  I give everything away.  It doesn't necessarily mean becoming destitute or even poor.  It means not having to rely on anything but the One that matters.  I'm not really sure what that looks like but I've got a guide.

I'm out of words already.

Saturday, June 14, 2014

Break me Open

"Quit acting out of fear that you call love."

Why does anyone have to feel alone?  Well, truly we don't have to feel alone.  Why do we feel alone?  We never really are, but I want something more than cold and empty words.  I want words that touch me deep inside.  I want connection.  I desire to be fulfilled that I run in a full sprint toward comfort.  Comfort is not connection.  Connection can involve comfort, but when I'm impatient and I want something now, comfort is waiting at the door.  She's such an easy sell.  She seems to whisper my name.  She doesn't even have to yell.

So I strive to ignore her voice.  I strive to turn the other way and go down the longer, more challenging path.  And she follows me.  It's so hard to keep walking in the right direction.  Thankfully, I have a Guide that picks me up and turns me back around every time I lose my footing or turn the other way.  My Guide doesn't tire of turning me around.  My Guide disciplines me when necessary.

And along this path everything is perfect.  It's crazy how it works, the perfection in this broken world.  Everything is in its right place and yet nothing is right.  We've been put together, though we're falling apart.  We've been rescued, though we're still struggling to stay afloat.  We're encouraged to throw the life vest to others while we stay afloat ourselves.  But the journey is not a lonely one.  When we share the life preserver with others we somehow manage to gain better footing.  And stranger still, it's not just because we've done something good for another that we begin to realize that we can swim.  We are learning that we are not alone in this fight and we believe.

I don't want just words.  I want life.  I want depth.  Rattle me to the bone, though I'm scared to mean it.  Mold me.  I know nothing is impossible with You.  Please take the barrel off of my forehead.  Remove it from inside my mind.  Wash me so that white can again be a color of purity.  Wash me so that I can be found in You and You can be found in me.  Wash me clean and remind me I'm Yours.  And You're mine.

And teach me humility, not self-deprecation.  Teach me to love my neighbors as myself.  As myself.  And as myself.  And teach me to not judge those around me and teach remove these chains from inside my chest.  Free me.

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Democracy is Not Supreme

I'm sorry.

I can't apologize for who we've been.  I can't apologize for others.  I can't apologize for something I didn't do.  Well..I can..but it just isn't the same.

It wasn't that long ago.  No, it's actually still going on.  We think we know what's best for others.  We need to stop being the police of the world.  Perhaps I'm bias toward the validity of the profession that I've chosen, but why can't we be the social worker of the world?  A good social worker knows she is not the expert, rather her client is the expert on his situation.

Dear King Democracy,

I can't believe I even have to tell you this.  It may come as a shock to you, but you're not the only way.  You're not the only true path.  Other systems work in other areas of the world.  Tell Hoover he can put me on his list.  I don't care.  I'm not going to follow you into the dark.  I know that there are other ways.  In fact, there are better ways.  Sure, democracy may work for you, but it's not all there is.  There are multiple pathways to "prosperity," if you want to call it that.

I can see why you try so hard to keep others down.  You're just prolonging the inevitable.  We're all destined for destruction.  No human system is without flaws.  You think you can keep living off the spoils of others but there will come a day when you run out of peoples, resources, and republics to exploit.  Then who will you turn to?  Who will be your ally at that time?  It won't matter how much money you accumulated.  Your statue will fall and who will still be willing to show you grace and mercy?  To whom did you show it?  Will there be anyone left on your side or will you have taken at least a little bit from everyone?

We must stop evangelizing the message that democracy is the only way.  There are other ways to go about this life.  Just because something worked for one person, or even several people, doesn't mean it will work for them all.  We can assist when called upon.  There may be sometimes when people ask us for help.  Granted, human pride does not always permit us and our sisters and brothers to seek help when we most need it.  So, there are questions that are have yet to be answered, we must have the humility to acknowledge that.  We cannot go around telling others that we have all the answers, thus perpetuating the cycle of the imperialist western empire.  How can any country, or any man even, go around telling others what is right when all of us fall flat on our faces?

If democracy, or any system here, is your skeleton key that will open every necessary door in the world and lock the excess away, I will hesitate to believe your message.  Because just like me, you're flawed in your very being and nothing on this Earth will solve everything.  I just hope you know.

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

One can't just retreat from life

We'll get there someday.  I'm not really sure where exactly, but we're on our way.  I've got a feeling we're heading there, some days faster than others.  The smoke in the rearview mirror clears and we're left thinking that life isn't exactly as we thought it was at the time.

I wanted to write a little bit today but the words aren't coming as easily as I expected.  Now it's more just a collection of words attached to videos and perhaps that is all it's meant to be this time.

I get the feeling that a time for a post of more vicariousness is coming soon as well, but I will leave that for that time.

So as I sit here and listen to the music raining down on my ears, the words come slowly.  I'm awaking slowly as the world lays down to sleep.  I'm falling down but not remaining.  You'll see me rise again.   We'll make it together.  Don't worry about me.  Everything is coming together.  I'm just learning that living is every moment, not just the ones we choose (to share).