Please allow me to share a little bit with you.
I am continually learning more about myself and the world around me. Some of the simplest things seem to play such a big role in providing me with some of the greatest feelings of life. By that logic, it would make sense that sometimes some of the most insignificant events/things in my life can be a cause of some poor distress. It's unfortunate really. Just barely running into something at the beginning of the day seems to have a lasting impact. This makes me wonder: how do these ripples echo in the way that I treat others? When I say something and am trying to make others feel comfortable, at ease, or included, could it be that I am leaving others out? Or put another way, could I potentially be lifting one person up only to neglect another, and therefore put him/her down?
These are the kinds of things that I think about. Well, I'm not sure if "think" is exactly the right way to put it. They seem to be on the edge of my subconscious and a motive for much of my thinking or acting. Am I acting out of love when I open my mouth? Are my actions reflecting my words and vice-versa?
This analysis paralysis stuff can really be quite crippling, but what is so significant about this brief blip that I get to spend here? Sure, there are significant moments and everything has significance, but think about it, will I the actions I've done today be remembered 50 years from now? I can answer that with almost complete certainty: no. To put this into perspective, what do you know about what happened on July 23, 1964? Sure, we may have memories about special days or historic events that greatly affected the world we lived in, but that doesn't happen everyday. We get so concerned about what people will think of us or what they'll say that we're afraid to take action and do something for the mere reason that we believe in it.
On the other side of that coin, I would venture to say that the opposite is true: historic moments and special experiences happen everyday. Perhaps the reason that we life seems so bland at times is less a reflection of the world around us and more a reflection of our own willingness to take the initiative and make a decision. If we want something to be different we have to be willing to make a change.
I have a strange feeling about the world right now. I think we're at an important stage in our history. I'm not using this phrase in the way that many use it. I'm not just saying this to inspire others. I truly think that we're at a monumental shift in the way that the people of the world are beginning to think. Sure, there have been many other periods like this and it is important to learn from our past. The thing is though, I believe we're at a point in present history where we have two choices. We can either choose inaction and let the world keep spinning out of control and constantly point to the things we don't like about the world and place blame on others or we can do something.
Doing nothing is still choosing something. It involves the active decision of remaining inactive. I want so desperately to have an impact on the lives of those around me and I don't want it as something that will lift me up. I want to empower others to realize their full potential. I know that so much of my own time has been wasted sleeping, worrying, overanalyzing, and planning for days that have long since passed. So how do I encourage others to change if I'm not willing to change myself? That's the thing though, I desperately want to change I'm just too nervous about the implications that it will have.
I often feel so stuck, like a butterfly on flypaper. How do I get out of here? And I wonder: Am I just trying to escape my current circumstances for a temporary release? I don't think that is the case most of the time, though there are times when I do fall victim to such thinking. How do I change others' thinking without coming from an imperialist conquistador perspective? I want to work for change alongside others, not for them.
So one small step that I am taking is the one I'm doing right now: writing this Blog. Having an outlet to share my thoughts and ramblings on life is a way for me to begin to change my thinking. It's a place that I can look back on later in life and see how I have changed, see what I have done. It's also a place where I hope to encourage others to critically think about how they are living their lives. Are we living today or are we reminiscing yesterday? Are we embracing the time in the hallway between one door and the next, or are we focused only on the door at the end of the hall? Surely that room will be better, I just have to leave the dungeon I'm living in and all will be healed. We must learn to embrace the hallway moments, fleeting though they are, and when we come across something that must be changed we must strive to make that happen. We can no longer just sit on the sidelines and point fingers at the players, we have to take action and join the game.
To sit is a verb and verbs are action words. If we are choosing to sit down we are choosing to settle for the status quo. That is fine if the status quo is what you want, but I do not want to sit down and be complacent. I want to take action. So let's get off our butts and move! And yes, that's a "we," I am talking to myself as much as I am talking to you. Let's go!