Tuesday, October 21, 2014

I can only be me

I don't have much time to talk but there are just a couple things on my mind.

I'll be brief.

First, it seems like we tend to get deeper once the goodbyes have been said.  I like that.  I like that we're able to get deeper and really talk about the big things.  It's hard to say goodbye for real because I don't want these conversations to end.  However, maybe if we closed the conversation earlier, it would allow us to reach the profound depth much sooner.

And second, I feel like I'm trying to be everything to everyone.  There is no time for stretching myself because I already have a rigid schedule.  Any extra time is built for homework and self-care.  So what does that look like?  I'm trying to encourage others to care for themselves, however I'm still not completely sure how to do it myself.  I challenge myself so much that I'm not completely able to relax and enjoy life.  When I'm not doing one of my obligatory tasks, I'm either sleeping to avoid my approaching responsibilities or I'm all in.  I'm still not sure what this means.  I've been on the upslope but I lose my grip often and tumble down hard.

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