It's good to know I have a heart.
But that heart gets me in trouble sometimes. My heart tries to think for itself and dreams dreams that twirl me around in circles. In disasters. I'm breaking myself thinking things could be possible that are far out of reach. I'm dreaming of situations that have no basis on reality. And I'm breaking myself but can't really stop.
And Taylor doesn't help.
I'm a dreamer and perhaps that's all there is. The name of this blog comes from a song that states just that. "I am a dreamer, take me higher. Open the sky up, start a fire. I believe even if it's just a dream."
And some of my dreaming just gets me in trouble. I dream outside the rationale. But isn't that what dreaming is? If dreaming were rational it wouldn't be dreaming?
So there are wings on my heart and it's as if one side is lopsidedly flying away from the other. It's spinning in circles, chasing after these vaporous wishes. This isn't a relationship. The other side knows. Part of me will stay and the other will try to leave only to find itself spinning in circles just above me.
If you can grab me gently and pull me in, please do. I'm swimming in the atmosphere between wishes, dreams, lyrics, and something that almost smells like hope. Toss me the life preserver, though I want my life to be more than preserved. If you're going to catch me just to prolong my life, leave me be. I want a life enhancer. Always something new. Not necessarily materially, but something new.
So I'm still swimming among the weeds. Getting tangled and thinking they're pushing me along, but really they're holding me down from the waves that I'm meant to glide in on.