Thursday, February 4, 2010

Shadows, Slideshows, Wires, and Feeling Better

Hey again! It's still me. Today was sort of a rough day..I talked with that girl to tell her that I care about her and she just told me that she still doesn't feel the way that I do. But she was really honest about it and very gentle. I thank God for that. I thank God that He knows who He has for me. I thank God that whoever that person is out there, she is so much greater than what I think (her name here) is. Wow! I really wish something could work between us two. But if that happened then I wouldn't get a chance to meet this person that God is preparing for me. He's preparing us for each other and this is just another step in the process. How great!
So I've been sort of on the verge of tears tonight and it's not exactly a great feeling. I wish I could just know when God is going to show me who she is. How long I have wanted to know her. This patience will really help me to appreciate her when the time comes. I am so excited to meet her. But my heart aches knowing that I don't even know her yet. Who is she? What is she going through now? I hope she's alright. My heart just aches. I hope that it's soon.
On my way back to my apartment from CRU tonight I listened to my iPod and really felt like the Lord was bringing me a little bit of comfort through that. Yes, God can speak through music. Here's some things that He told me on my way home:
"Sometimes solutions aren't so simple. Sometimes goodbye's the only way...Sometimes beginnings aren't so simple. Sometime's goodbye's the only way"
"If you never say your name out loud to anyone they can never ever call you by it. If I kiss you where it's sore will you feel better? Will you feel anything at all?"
"How you gonna feel it if you won't let go? You're scared to death of being alone. When you're scared like that you'll grow a heart of stone."
"In the movies, on the big screen, I'd make you mine"

So I'm moving on. It's much easier said than done. But I know there's a God who loves me beyond understanding. He has much bigger and better plans for me. I have hope. I have strength. I have perseverance. All is found in my Saviour, Jesus Christ!

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