Monday, September 21, 2009

Lo Que Quiero Yo

"It's like forgetting the words to your favorite song," sings Regina Spektor.

I'm not really sure how I feel right now.  Maybe a little lonely.  I just want to see where that special someone is.  I want someone I can just be with, I don't have to pretend to be anyone around her and she can be herself around me.  Someone whose time I can share.  I want to be with someone that we can have fun just sitting around doing nothing.  At the same time we can really enjoy ourselves when we've got something to do.  Someone who's good at finding something to do but doesn't mind just sitting back and relaxing at times.

I want to be satisfied in this life.  I want to be content.  Living here can get boring but I want to live a life with meaning.  I want to strive for a life beyond the status quo.  I want a life beyond complacency.  I want to look around and know that where I am is just fine.

I want someone to hold.  To protect.  To share life with.  I want a more tangible life.

But how can I complain?  How can I lament this life that I live?  Am I not so blessed to have the power that has raised my Saviour from the dead?  Am I not so blessed that mercy and grace floods my life?  How can I want more when He has given me all that I need?  He came so that I might have life, and have it to the full. (John 10:10) Who do I think I am?  This life is not all that there is.  What comes next is what lasts forever.  What comes next is joy beyond joys.

I just wish I had someone more tangible to share this small step with.  It's all just part of the human condition.

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