Monday, February 20, 2012

A Well-rooted Heart

and I feel comfortable enough in my own skin today. Comfortable enough that I didn't do much but I don't feel lazily unproductive. Somehow I have feelings that I believe have roots in my heart. I don't want to tell her yet and I want to tell her. I want to say it in person though I've said it a couple times before. Once by text and once by written word. The times have made the media necessary. But I believe this time it must be in person. This time it seems different..Doesn't it always? My mind makes me think, "Won't she wonder why she has to keep explaining her lack of similar feelings to me?" But if that's the case then why do these words seem so easy? Why are we so comfortable with each other? I know I feel it. Does she see friendship and nothing more? Why though, would she want to come all the way out here? Sure, she likes it here, likes the location, but is that even fair? I don't want her to feel she's not welcome but if she's not interested why is she so interested?
Lately life feels good and often times words come easy. The roots of my heart seem to stretch, longing to become a part of someone else. I will give what I have because You first gave it to me. You gave it to me to give and so my life is not mine to live. Not alone anyway. After this life I feel like comes the return to perfect and authentic companionship with the One who made us. In this life there's no way to get back to the garden. No way to live life exactly how it was. Our souls long to be fulfilled and we try so much to do it ourselves. Nothing works. All of our effort is in vain. But we can cling to the hope of life after life.

1 comment:

  1. Okay, I'm not a creeper promise, but I was intrigued to read on. Anyways, I totally feel what you're wondering because after a somewhat recent separation that I know that God meant for his people to become united with one another and I am always wondering, where is my "other half".
    Your post reminds me of this bible verse from the 10th chapter and the 10th verse from the book of John- "I came so that they may have life and live it abundantly". I have to constantly remind myself of that because eventually, everything will align as He has planned it.