Monday, February 20, 2012

An Olive Branch

Another one on here before I return to the other. Perhaps this time it will be the feeling I meant to be for yesterday. When I have something later in the day I find myself waiting. Waiting it out. Just waiting. I think it's better when I make plans for the empty days because if I don't, I find myself not doing anything. And while I think it's nice to have a day off, I would much rather have a day with real plans.
My heart sometimes sinks into wonder...and I can't figure out where to go. I think for Lent rather than give something up I'll resolve to spend at least 5 intentional and uninterrupted minutes outside everyday. Because when I'm inside all day, this "cabin" seems to almost give me a fever. I sit at home and wallow in songs of my situation. My lungs breathe the recycled air that circulates my box. And I wonder...why doesn't she think of me as often as I think of her? and similar thoughts. I let my mind wander and still it can only go as far as these walls that hold me in. Though, I realize that with present technologies (like this Blog) I am able to let some escape. My hope though, is that they would bring something back in return, some sort of olive branch or sign of life. I hope that my heart isn't beating in vain. I hope that I'm going somewhere.
But as for right now you probably just see this as a public journal. Some place where I ramble. And in a very true way, it is that, but I hope for it to be more. A man can hope can't he? If the answer is no, please don't tell me because I must have something. Something to keep me going. So whenever you read this, whoever you may be, let me know you're there somehow. Let me know you're still reading, you still value my sharing. For if I do not know, perhaps it's time I just crawl back into my journal that is seen only by my eyes and heard by much fewer. If you have found me by coincidence, you too can let me know. Just an olive branch. That's enough for me right now.


  1. I'm still reading Kirby! I love you and miss you and wish you lived closer to us...

    I love your idea to take some intentional time outside everyday. HEY! You could be a part time dog walker and do double duty with outdoor time! (yes, I said duty, not dooty!)

    either way, just getting out around others gives you new perspective. I find when I hibernate at home for several days in a row, my outlook needs a fresh look and even just going out in the yard or on a walk around the block or to the grocery store can change it up.

    love you sweet nephew...
    your fav aunt...

  2. I know how you feel Kirby! I wonder if anyone is listening sometimes. I was thinking of you today and other people from my past and I was like "I wonder what he's up to these days!" and here you are! I'll listen!

    During those 5 uninterrupted minutes, think of how awesome our God is and how His blessings are always flowing.