Here's a little glimpse.
Many times I feel so alone. But many times I am reminded of just how alone I am not. Sometimes I am even woken up enough to see that all of this is really about more than just me and my circumstances. So here is what I see right now. Through this lens of loneliness I see that it is not me who is the loneliest. It is He. I see that my loneliness is a reflection of the loneliness that God feels regarding our relationship. I wait up all night hoping that something will happen. Hoping that she'll come back, that I'll know who she is. I don't lose faith. I know that this waiting isn't for nothing. Patience shall be rewarded. But how can I keep doing this? After so many times have I not learned that sometimes she just won't show up? But I want so badly to believe her when she says she'll be here.
That's me. I'm the one who promises it all and doesn't deliver. I tell God that I'm on my way. That I want to be closer. That I'll be there. But thankfully, I realize His grace does not run out. He'll wait outside in 20 below. He'll wait for me, even when I do not show. How can I ever match up to a love like this? The answer is: I can't. I just have to pursue Him wholeheartedly. So here's my life. Take it or leave it, but please, if you're going to take it, share it.