Sunday, July 15, 2018

The Farewell of the Bionic Man

Maybe I am just what you wanted me to be.  Maybe I'm a safe bionic man that lives in a padded room, but what sort of life is that?  Who wants safety their entire life outside of all the countlessly dreadful prisoners of war?  Why can't I travel away from you without leaving you behind?  Why does my heart feel like a heavy shadow I cannot shake?

Can you trust me?  Can you let me be who I am?  Do you even know outside of your safety goggles? I had to leave here to find myself.  I had to escape my kevlar vest to find myself.  I had to disappear into the shadows to find my light.  Many years have I spent living in such a blinding light that I could not see.  Many years have I wasted beneath the stars hoping for a day when I could lay content in today's green grass.

I cannot march in circles any longer.  I cannot bask leisurely in the treasure-drenched sheets hanging in perfect hospital corners from the ends of my bed anymore.  I see the world in front of me and have to find a way to erupt from this translucent bubble.  It may be dark outside and the beasts may be fierce, but you must let me leave my crib behind.

I've lost my umbilical cord and I do not miss it.  Is that not okay?  Is that not alright?  I won't leave you behind entirely if you'll only let me explore the depths a little deeper.  Perhaps I cannot breathe alone, but I will not know if I don't try.  No, you're not a helicopter; you're not even the blades.  I just have to know for myself if whatever it is that's out there calling my name is meant for me.  Is it a shadow of deception as your world teaches me or could it be the glimmer of hope like my insides long for?

I know crystal balls aren't for you; though fragile, they do not appeal to me either.  I just can't remain a bionic man forever.  My wooden outsides are giving way to my fleshy innards.  I pray you don't worry so that I can move on and not escape.  Know that I'll be careful when it's necessary, however I cannot stay in this birdcage forever.  I cannot whisper boldly when my heart is meant to sing.

I'm not sure where this is leading me and that's perhaps the most exciting thing.  Please don't unveil the mystery; don't spoil the surprise.  Don't you know that it's my curiosity that carried me here in the first place.  No, it wasn't your misguidance, nor was it a broken compass.  Please trust me, as I've trusted you; perhaps you too will swim blindly someday.  As for me and my heart, we will remove the 'fold and leap ever so swiftly into the once forsaken wood.

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