Secrets and Seasons

"I need another story...my life gets kind of boring"~OneRepublic

Hey world. Welcome to my sweet life.

Classes are about to start back up. Well, I've got a couple weeks still but I'm very ready for them to be here. I'm ready to have fun in Boone. I'm ready to see friends and get to know people. This fall will be an amazing one. Big things are happening this fall. Be warned. This fall lives will change and people will learn life. We will learn to live life and learn what it's about.

I've thought a little every now and then about what my favorite season is. I wonder does it just change every season? Does it become the opposite of what it is? If so, that's no way to live. I need to learn to live in the present. So here's a case for each season:

Winter: This probably is my true favorite season. It has Christmas in it, definitely the most wonderful time of the year! It's great to be able to snuggle next to someone you love. It's a season of nostalgia. Nostalgia is a warm feeling that reminds the rest of your body that your heart has memories. Snow falls bringing newness to the dead trees. Many people view winter as a gloomy time, where everything has either died or is in hibernation. But I see it as a new beginning. The purity of snow is a reminder that we can be reborn in Christ. God sees us as holy and blameless, white like snow because of the sacrifice of Jesus, once for all.

Spring: At the start of spring are the remnants of winter. In regions of snow this means huge piles of snow that isn't even recognizable as such. These large, gray piles are full of exhaust, dirt, and other groundflakes. These don't really add to the aesthetics of any landscape. They are like remains of buildings in former Soviet Union nations. The many crumbles of objects that make up their bland color are like the things we try to do to make our lives better, or appear so. We cover our wounds with fake smiles so that people don't know how we really feel. Or we try to be moral, thinking we can earn a better life or even our way to Heaven. But that's not true, the price has already been paid, we must make a decision of whether or not to accept it.

Summer: This could possibly be my least favorite season. Although my birthday is in the summer I consistently find myself with nothing to do. The summer months are full of long days with nothing to do. Lately I just sleep if I don't have anything to do and it feels like I'm watching years of my life go by. Yet, when there is something to do the joy greatly expands. It is nice to be out of school at times and be able to hang out with friends. Sometimes it's nice to not have any obligations but it sure gets old really fast. It's a shame the days are longest in the summer. But who am I to complain? If this is what I complain about then I don't really have any right to do so. There are people in the world who walk for miles just to feed their families each day. People who don't have a choice of whether or not to work. People who don't know what freedom sounds like. And here I am complaining about the length of the day, not having something to do, or humidity. Who am I?

Autumn: Maybe my second favorite season. School begins, though it really does at the end of the summer. I actually like school. Especially getting started in classes and discovering new things and people. In the fall leaves begin to change colors and God shows His beauty in the leaves. If you don't believe me come to the Appalachian Mountains in the Fall. It's as if He painted each leaf individually. That's like you and me. God knit us together in our mother's womb whether you believe it or not. He painted us the perfectly. Each of us is the perfect shade of brown that He wanted for us. He wouldn't have us any other way. The way that He made us is just how He loves us. We are all different shades and tints just like the autumn leaves, but perfectly different. He didn't make mistakes when He made us. Sure, some people are born with birth defects, but God may be glorified in their lives and actions.

This has been an uplifting post to myself. I hope it is to you as well. It was a nice way to end a rather slow day. And here is a page of a few pictures that I found on StumbleUpon. Very interesting!

No. 1 Pencils

So I had a great idea last night while I was trying to go to sleep. Instead of holding off and letting pieces of the idea evaporate and the image slowly vaporize until I put it somewhere I decided to put it to "paper" tonight. Well, I made it in Photoshop and I actually think it looks better than I thought of it in my mind, which doesn't usually happen. So I hope you enjoy it! :) ¡Cuidense!

Masks, A Pendulum, and other Ramblings

In a weird mood right now. I painted/drew in pastels something that's been on my mind lately. Something I've wanted to portray to people outside of my mind but can't get the picture from my phone to upload here so maybe I'll put it on later when I sync my phone with my computer. The work is called "Good students wear masks" and it's about how in order to be a good student it seems that our society is teaching us that we can't be ourselves. We must be equipped with several masks so that we can adapt to different situations. Letting people see our real selves is faux pas. Really? I think honesty is so much more worth it. But still I have to get by in this world I live in so I fall into the trap of needing to cover myself again and again. If I don't fit in with the mold that people have made I need to invest in another mask. But that's not what I was made for! I wasn't made to constantly change who I am to please others. I was made to be who I am. And I have a God who loves me for who I am. How great!

Another thing..I've been hoping for a relationship for some time now. I mean like I'm pretty much always hoping for that one relationship that will fill this void that I feel. It's strange 'cause I know that a relationship with God is the only great, perfect, and true relationship there is. But I also know that He will provide. He is preparing my wife and I for each other. Even now. So I've been planning on what to do come this fall when I go back to school. But you know what? I don't have to be planning that. I must know that He has it all under control. And when the time comes I will know. But (I know I'm probably repeating myself) so many times feel like it could be the right time. And so many times I am in it so much deeper than the other. Most of the time the other person doesn't even know that I have feelings for her. A true relationship involves the giving and receiving. I'm just not so good at the receiving part. Perhaps that's the part that God is preparing in me now, even as my heart splits in at least two parts and I try to plan my next move. The strings of my heart must form a pendulum because it seems to swing from one side to the next quite easily. Very recently it has been leaning to one particular side. But the two directions in which the pendulum swings require patience. They require waiting until late August. And right now that seems pretty far away. Each day it gets closer and perhaps this vacation approaching will help the time pass. But I really just want someone to talk with. I've been at home for too long it seems. I'm ready to be somewhere. I like being at home and it has been relaxing but still sometimes I feel something slowly crumbling. Or perhaps it is something expanding. It needs somewhere to expand into. Somewhere to empty out. Or it will drive a hole in my being. I need to be free and right now I sometimes just feel restricted. I'm stuck in a box with nowhere to go. Calls aren't answered. People don't respond. Others are hours away. My life stands still and life seems to go by without even waving to me. So I'm just trying to live everyday and I'm waiting for the surprise from a God who saves. The surprise of who it is, the surprise of when. I know that new days come and everyday is already planned. It's just hard not knowing when..

New Logo!

I've been workin' on a lot with Photoshop lately. Just messin' around a little everyday but it's paying off. I've got another Blog now that shows my recent work. I'm trying to update that once a day and so far it's going pretty well. It's fun learning as I go along. The last couple of days I've been working on a design that I thought might become part of that Blog but now I've just made it into a personal Blog logo. I really like the way it turned out and hope to be able to do more stuff like it in the future. Let me know what you think of it! ¡Cuidense!

P.S. Nice effort today (and throughout the Cup) Paraguay! And Argentina..it was fun!

More than Surviving in a Globalized Society

It's been a while on here.

The past few days I've had an idea for a post but I just haven't put it up yet. Let's see if I can remember it all.

More than Surviving in a Globalized Society:

1. Know where you stand and stand firm there.

2. Get to know the world outside of your own. Explore new people and places.

3. Respect others' points of view and establish your own.

4. Ask questions when you don't understand.

5. Remember that life is about living, not just surviving.

6. Learn from the mistakes you've made and the times you made them.

7. Accept help when it is offered sincerely.

8. There is always something new to learn.

9. Be creative and original.

10. Accept that change happens and can be for better or worse.

11. Aspire to be yourself in a new way, not a version of yourself that is based upon someone else.

12. Gain background information through reading, attending a conference, or listening to a knowledgeable human being.

13. You're never too strong to fall down in this life.

14. No one can control your actions but yourself.

15. Take responsibility for yourself and your actions.

16. When you're not certain, admit it.

17. A dishonest response bears rotten fruit.

18. Every single person makes multiple mistakes.

19. Accept differences and build bridges.

20. Sometimes you're wrong.

Becoming an Active Helper

"I want to help people, that's what I want to do."

Have you ever heard someone say this? Or perhaps you've said it yourself. I know I've said at least something similar. But so many people say this. So how do we get past it? How do we get to a place where we go from the desire to the motivation of action and onto the footsteps of action? I think there are probably several steps. One important step that I realized tonight is knowing the kind of people that you want to help. The people you want to help are the people that you feel jumping in your heart when you are around them or after you have been with them.

For me that group of people is immigrants, in particular Hispanic immigrants. I was able to talk with a coworker of mine tonight and it reminded me of how much I love immigrants. I feel like whenever I talk with an immigrant I get that feeling all over again. It's like meeting your first love.

So I think that my call is to help the immigrant population in our country. I want to help them however I can. I want to be a light in a dark place. I want to show life where there seems to be little hope. I am glad that God is showing me who He wants me to be. I look forward to continuing to see where this goes.

What do you think are some necessary steps in becoming an active helper, rather than just a hopeful admirer?

Hope Smiles Brightly

'm wearing a smile now. And it's a great feeling. It's not because I'm done with exams. It's not because the weather is nice. It's not because it's summertime. But it's because I know there is hope in the future. Night, although such a tranquil time of peace and quiet, can be so hard for me at times. But not tonight. Tonight God gave me hope. Tonight I realized that with so many people looking down God still looks up. I know that so many things may seem to be looking grim but it is not permanent. I know that God shows His hope in his people. This life is about more than just waiting for the next. If that's all it was, then why would He have put us here in the first place? We have reason to live these lives we're in. I see hope in people putting action to their faith that God has given them. I see hope in people loving the "unlovable" and caring for the "uncareable." Isn't that what Jesus did? Shouldn't He continue to do it? Aren't we His body? Aren't we the people who are Jesus to the world? Go out and do something! Or stay in and do something, if it means that you will be loving the world the way that God does. God may not love the brokenness of the world but He loves every individual person in it. So should we. We should love with a nonjudgmental love. We should love without reservations. Love is free and why should we charge others for it? Do any of us long to pay for a hug? Do we have the desire to fork over a little cash for someone to listen to us? Do we urge even slightly to give our up minds just so that someone will want to be with us? Have we the inclination to be someone else, just so that we can be known? Then why do we require that of others? Why don't you give yourself so that someone else might truly live? What sacrifice is so great that you would risk eternity for it? What about someone else's eternity? Do we really think that our pride is that significant in the long scheme of things? If we get over ourselves we could actually make a difference in this world. We can have a lasting impact. Loving someone for who they are can dramatically change that person's life. A smile, gentle words, the offer to hold someone's heavy weight; these can all change a person's day. If you change a person's day, they may wonder what the difference is in you. God may give you the opportunity to speak His words. He may plant the seed for someone else to to say those words. So, I ask you, will you hold someone's heart today?