Here's to Thousand and Ten

Hey! Sorry it's been awhile. I've had some ideas about stuff to write but wasn't sure if I wanted to write them here or in a journal. I may place some of them here but I think I'm going to save them for another place and time. I just got done watching ESPN's most memorable moments of the decade and it was one of those moments where my heart reminded me that it was there. It sounds cliché to say that it was touching but that's kind of all I can think of to describe it. It's like the feeling when you're watching an inspirational movie. But this is real life! At the same time it sort of made me feel old. Has it really been ten years since 2000? It's so hard to believe. I don't know if you want an update on my life or what you really look for when you come here but I just worked for the first time since I came home from Argentina tonight and I work again in the morning. I plan on leaving to go back to Boone next weekend, Saturday or Sunday (the 9th or 10th). So I'm just hangin' out here in Cary and workin' until then. Maybe I'll start updating this a little more frequently as I used to. We'll see...

Resolutions? I'm not sure yet.. maybe try to buy little to no T-shirts and it sure would be nice to have someone to share this life with. Someone to hold and comfort. That's all I'm really thinking for now...I don't know. So until next time ¡Cuidense!

Ramble On

Do you remember me? I know I haven't posted in a while. Well, I'm back here, in two ways. I'm back on this Blog for a little while and I'm back home. I got home a week ago from Argentina. It really was a great experience. I had a great time. But I am oh so glad to be home. Sure, sometimes I'm still bored, but that's part of life. Many times I find myself wanting to be in the next stage. I need to learn to enjoy what I'm living, where I'm living it.

It's really good to be back in North Carolina though. Sometimes I just wish that I knew who she was. I know that God's timing is perfect so I can't complain. If I were somehow able to interrupt His timing it would not be a good thing at all. It would all happen too fast and out of place. So I am thankful that He knows just what He's doing.

I don't know if it's because of Christmas time coming around but I have felt some sort of weird feelings about material possessions and stuff like that lately. I think God's just showing me that I should be doing something with my life. He's showing me that I need to do more than just sit around. He's showing me that I can make a difference in this world. In order to do that I must work to affect those around me. No one who is wise doesn't make mistakes. People who are considered geniuses got there through many mistakes. That means sometimes they may have said things that weren't right or done things that seemed to drag them further down. But really it just drew them nearer to success.

And what is success anyway? Being seen in the eyes of the world as someone who knows what he/she is talking about? Is that worth anything? Sure, we can get the respect of other people, but there comes a time when standing up for oneself is necessary. It is better to be a fool in the world's eyes and a wise man after God's own heart than to live with no regard for God.

That's it for now...

Carolina In My Mind

Today was a good day. I leave for home in five days. As my time here has been coming to a close I've been getting more excited to be home. I'm actually missing home. I looked up North Carolina on Wikipedia tonight to check out some population stats for a friend. It made me nostalgic for this state that I've lived in for so long. Although I don't consider North Carolina my home state, it really is a great place. I mean, it's got a little bit of everything: the beach, the mountains, and everything in between. The heat, the cold. The snow, the hurricanes. The floods, the droughts. The lakes, the ocean. The town, the city, the country. According to Wikipedia, it's the fastest growing state this side of the Mississippi, and understandably so! I am proud to live in North Carolina and to have grown up there. Thinking now, I have some good things I could write on, especially if I go with the Tru's English teacher's technique: write what you know. So, I think I may just write some about the life of a North Carolinian. Places that may sound normal and boring to me, could sound exotic and interesting to others. Like hearing about a random midwestern town in a song. So I think I'm going to write (not necessarily here on my Blog) about North Carolina places, even if I haven't really been to those places. They are places I at least know of, like Albemarle Sound, that sounds nice. Could be a strange and/or unique sound to someone somewhere else. So that's the plan for the near future. It may happen. As for right now, this entry is D-O-N-E.

Looking through a Lens of Loneliness

Hi.  I'm Kirby.  Welcome to my life.

Here's a little glimpse.  

Many times I feel so alone.  But many times I am reminded of just how alone I am not.  Sometimes I am even woken up enough to see that all of this is really about more than just me and my circumstances.  So here is what I see right now.  Through this lens of loneliness I see that it is not me who is the loneliest.  It is He.  I see that my loneliness is a reflection of the loneliness that God feels regarding our relationship.  I wait up all night hoping that something will happen.  Hoping that she'll come back, that I'll know who she is.  I don't lose faith.  I know that this waiting isn't for nothing.  Patience shall be rewarded.  But how can I keep doing this?  After so many times have I not learned that sometimes she just won't show up?  But I want so badly to believe her when she says she'll be here.

That's me.  I'm the one who promises it all and doesn't deliver.  I tell God that I'm on my way.  That I want to be closer.  That I'll be there.  But thankfully, I realize His grace does not run out.  He'll wait outside in 20 below.  He'll wait for me, even when I do not show.  How can I ever match up to a love like this?  The answer is: I can't.  I just have to pursue Him wholeheartedly.  So here's my life.  Take it or leave it, but please, if you're going to take it, share it.

Living in a Broken World

So here's where I am now.

Right where I am is where God has placed me.  Where He wants me.  He may not desire for me to stay permanently in this spot but I have a purpose in the here and now.  Sitting around doing nothing about it is exactly what I should not be doing.  With His strength I make it through each day.  He brings me immeasurable joy that is beyond understanding.  I think right now what I'm learning is that I need to learn to love myself for the way that I am.  Is that right?  That's something difficult.  I don't want to be boastful or conceited.  But is it true that I must learn to love myself before I can be loved by someone else on this earth?  What a concept!

Sometimes waiting is just so hard.  I know that God is preparing she and I for each other.  I pray that He is growing us closer to Himself and to each other.  Every day is a chance to learn something new.  God has taught me some new things lately, or really just opened my eyes to some things that He sees.  I have sung "break my heart for what breaks Yours" while worshipping and he did just that this weekend.  On Saturday, Halloween, I went to a boliche (club) and really just saw how broken this world that we're living in is.  We all just want to be loved, to be appreciated, to be known.  Too many times we look to the temporary things of this world to satisfy our eternal desires.  Why do we do that?  We want immediate gratification.  What we really want is something that lasts and although those things don't last we will risk too much for them.  Why?  These fleeting joys are nothing in comparison to what can be found in Christ!  We must look to Him for a life with meaning, joy and truth.  What else will last anywhere near as long?

Cuentito 1

I'm thinking about doing a little series of these.  They're simple drawings to describe recent stories, feelings, wishes, etc.  They are small, with little detail and minimal color.  Perhaps sometimes they'll come with a description and sometimes not.  Not too sure.

So here is the first one: Cuentito 1

3 x 8

Lately, I've thought about writing on here but don't really know what to write about.  I've got things to write about in my journal that I could do.  But I don't know what to write about here.  I want to though.  How about three lists of eight?  Here you go!

Eight things I miss about home:

1. Caesar Salad

2. Being able to drive places

3. Having things (other than sleep) to do when I'm bored

4. Being able to snack whenever

5. Everything's 15 minutes away (by car), more or less

6. Going barefoot, or in just socks, around the house

7. Having more than just my room to hang out in

8. Being able to watch a little tv every now and then

Eight things I miss about school:

1. Friends

2. The concept of just hanging out in someone's house/room

3. The beautiful mountains

4. Enjoying campus life just walking around

5. Campus Crusade

6. The sense of community/fellowship in general

7. Only having to wake up about an hour before class

8. The little effort it takes to go do something with friends

Eight things I enjoy about Buenos Aires:

1. Being able to speak Spanish with whomever I please (and them understanding me!)

2. Meeting people from around Latin America and the world

3. All my classes meet once a week except for one, which meets twice

4. Having my laundry done for me once a week by my host mom

5. Actually getting to take graphic design classes

6. Learning the life that different people lead (city life/Argentine life)

7. Wandering through the different artisan fairs

8. The opposite weather system; how it's barely Spring

Well, that's all for now.  These lists were actually a lot harder to write than they may seem.  But I think that should suffice for now.  If you have any ideas of something I should write (about), let me know.  Perhaps, that could spark the imagination.

So, until next time, ¡cuidense!