I'm trying to stay clear of pursuing relationships with the opposite sex for a time. I want to rely fully on God for my fulfillment and it can be a difficult lesson to learn. Maybe the way to do that is not to dwell on singleness but to love everyone equally. It may seem cliché but it seems that something went off in my mind this morning, showing me how this may be possible. It's a love that doesn't play favorites and a love that doesn't pursue relationships out of selfish interest. I want to learn about people, male and female, and how they desire to be loved. I want to learn about people's hopes and fears and share life with them. Not with a desire to find "the one" but simply to show them they are loved. I want to show people this love that I have so graciously received. I know that I don't deserve an ounce of this love that dwells in my heart but God gives it freely, and how can I not share that? We all want to be held in some way, part of life is just finding out how. I have spoken before about how laughter can build bridges but also close doors. I believe that if we use it to build bridges people will be willing to open their heart's doors to what we have to say. When we build bridges that connect our funny bones, people aren't so afraid of the words that follow. There must be a healthy balance between laughter and love. Love must overcome all emotion, but laughter is just a tool used to gently ease into conversations of Truth. I don't mean to sound cultish and I'm not sure if I do, but maybe that's just the lack of self-confidence coming out through my fingers as I type.
To conclude, I just want to say that I'm learning to love with little self-interest. It's a difficult task, but with help I can do it. Life must be a sacrifice and we must remember that even the boring moments are included in our lives for a reason. The times where we do little, or have little to do, are not breaks in our lives. They are moments with every amount of potential as the rest. Let us remember that we will be held accountable for the moments of action and the moments of inaction. When in doubt, choose to love and not shout. Use gentle words when possible but remember that love is not genuine without at least some discipline.
