Strange Feelings

It's a strange feeling. The world is in a state of celebration. A man has been killed and we are celebrating. Sure, he was responsible for the death of thousands, but should we really be celebrating his death? He was made, just like you and I, with a plan in mind. I just think it's a little strange that people all over the world are rejoicing that one man is now dead. I'll admit, I do feel a strange sense of patriotism and a certain level of comfort, but I know that the war isn't over. I know that we all still live in our own wars and this worldly war may have only escalated. Still, an odd comfort rubs my shoulders.

It's like another feeling that I currently have: midnight hunger. You know the feeling? When you're pretty wide awake, it's late at night, you think you should be sleeping, but you're also somehow hungry. You think, "Should I eat something or just try and get some sleep? It wouldn't be good for me to eat something now, but I am quite hungry."

I also just watched a video of a couple friends from when we were studying abroad. It was a video of them swing dancing at the international festival. It's kind of hard to believe that was about a year and a half ago now. That video was a nice initiator of happy thoughts and nostalgic butterflies.

And I've got three more exams and a critique before officially graduating. It's pretty surreal. Am I really graduating in less than a week? Where am I going to go? What am I going to do? I try not to let those questions get too far into my skull. If I did, they might cause some sort of anxiety attack. But just below the surface I'm a little excited about this time of transition. I don't know exactly where I'll be in just over 6 months and it's pretty exciting. I'm ready for new opportunities. I don't want this life to end but don't want to love my life in a way that I shouldn't. This life is nothing. I mustn't get too caught up in all the living of life.

Am I falling for someone? Not really. My heart says yes, but my mind knows it's infatuation. I barely even know her. So often my heart thinks it's my mind and desperately tries to think things through. I think the thinking should be left up to my mind, maybe even sometimes the feeling too. So I'm preparing a little more each day to jump this ship, hoping that the water will hold me up, or I'll land softly on solid ground and I won't regret the day I jumped.