Wednesday, April 28, 2010

These words are my diary screaming out loud

My last post was lost to the space that is cyber so I shall try again...
I felt it. I saw it. I could feel the pull of the magnet. I, the negative charge, was being drawn near to her positivity. It was like an urge I couldn't resist. Perhaps it has something to do with the chemistry. My heart felt something that my mind cannot describe. I had words in my heart that find no meaning in my mouth. Words that couldn't be expressed. It was a pull that tugged toward her glow. And there was a moment. A moment where it seemed everything stopped. Everything but she and I. I saw her through the crowd. It's not that I hadn't seen her before. But something happened that time. I saw her glow and her smile told me something. She may not have been looking at me but I feel something deep inside just thinking about her. Is it my soul stirring? She has something bright and I'm not afraid to confide in her.
And this will be another summer, I know. A summer of waiting. A summer of patience. As if I haven't had to be patient enough. But I know that this time it will be worth it. I know that the patience will not be in vain. I know there is a light. It will be hard, I know. But will that not remind me of how great the reward is? Through great suffering the reward is made great. I will endure. I will fall down but I know I will get back up. This summer will be like one before but the reward is great for those who wait. So I will wait.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

How to change the world

How to change the world:

Ask someone what is on their heart. Be sincere in your question. Be true in your answer. Be present in your listening. Don't worry about what people will think of your answer. When you appreciate someone, tell them. Accept advice when it's given. Remember grains of salt. Don't ignore the rapid beating of your warm heart. When you smile, let it shine inside. Use small words to convey big ideas.

Move!

Hey there! I haven't posted on here in a little bit. So here's the overflow of my mind.
I haven't been up to much lately. My life has consisted of a lot of sleeping and then school. I've been really lazy lately and have to find something to remedy that. I want to get a job somewhere, but where? I want to work somewhere that I can be among the immigrant population. I may try and get a job at Chik Fil-A. We'll see what happens.
I had been feeling pretty lonely but was sort of praying yesterday but didn't really know the words to speak. I just wanted someone to speak sincerely with and God answered that prayer. I spoke with a good friend of mine as well as my roommate and those were great! Talking with my friend in the afternoon wasn't a very long conversation but it was so beneficial. I thank God that He used her and I'm going to thank her for that. I have an art project due next Thursday and have some interesting ideas for it. I'm pretty excited to see how that works out. I'm not sure what I'm going to do this weekend but I'll probably be working on that at least some. I need to stop being so lazy and move forward. Staying still isn't standing still. Staying still is moving backwards. I want this life to be more than gray. So I'm hoping for a path that will lead me forward. I'm hoping for a plan that is not just written, but drawn. I want to see where I can go and be pushed that way in a gentle, joyful push. So as I leave you here, I will try to move in some direction because this stillness shakes me until I cannot move and my motivation has evaporated.